We need to chat about something that I’ve noticed recently.
Homeschool moms can be really mean to each other.
Just when you thought you left all that high school drama behind you…welcome to the world of homeschool mean moms.
Have you encountered one of them?
Unfortunately, I’ve met several.
Some moms want to compare their curriculum to yours. They want to find ways that their curriculum is superior and more rigorous than yours.
Other homeschool moms think their homeschool style is better than yours. They have found the “right way” to homeschool and it’s definitely the best.
Sometimes homeschool moms are so involved in their co-op group that it becomes cliquish. They aren’t willing to make friends outside of their co-op group and you’re left feeling like an outsider if you’re in a different co-op or even if you’re crazy enough to belong to no co-op at all.
Homeschool moms are sometimes subtly critical of your homeschool style while others might be openly critical of some of your choices.
Now, not all moms compare their homeschool to yours aloud. Most of the time the criticisms are only in their head – yes, they are silently judging you.
How do I know this is true?
Sadly, I’ve fallen into this trap and silently compared myself to other homeschoolers. Whenever I felt like I was coming up short, I would look for something negative about their curriculum, their homeschool style, or their routine. I listened to them talk about their homeschool and then I sat back and quietly judged their choices.
Homeschool moms, this isn’t ok. This is so hurtful and it only weakens the homeschool community. We should stick together, build each other up, and encourage others in their homeschool journey.
When you’re talking to another homeschool mom, here are some thoughts that should NEVER cross your mind:
- My curriculum is better
- My co-op is better
- My style of homeschooling is better
- My homeschool is more rigorous
- My kids are more advanced
- I do more and get more done
- Her homeschool is lacking
- She doesn’t do enough
Why do we think these things?
I believe these thoughts are rooted in insecurity. As homeschool moms we often worry that we are failing, our curriculum is not the best, our style is inadequate. We worry that we are not enough.
Those insecurities cause us to judge the other homeschool moms we meet.
I’m here to tell you that you’re not failing. Your curriculum is the best choice for your family. Your homeschool style is perfect for you. You are enough – for your homeschool, for your family, for your kids, for this job of homeschooling.
Whenever you’re tempted to say or think something negative about another homeschool mom, take a deep breath and say something positive instead. Find several encouraging things that you can say to another homeschool mom.
Remind yourself that judging others is a product of your own insecurity. Chances are that she suffers from her own homeschool insecurities. She has her own struggles and fears.
Let’s end the homeschool insecurity. How much better would we be as homeschool moms if we looked for the positive aspects of each others homeschools and pointed them out?
Be Sure to Catch the Other Posts in this Series
When Homeschool Moms Are Mean
5 Questions to Ask Yourself When Talking to Another Homeschool Mom
Don’t Tell Me About Your Homeschool Day
Defending Your Homeschool Choices
How Homeschool Styles are Like Toothpaste