Ok, here’s my list of subjects with the reality behind them:
Geometry-We own shape blocks. Tiger sometimes using them to set up his own mini-golf course.
Algebra-This is all about studying relationships that vary over time. I have this covered in the sibling rivalry category.
Basic Mathematics-There are two cookies left. What do we do? At our house, we scream and throw a fit. Then mom eats them all. Simple math.
Spelling-Whenever mom and dad try to have a conversation in front of the kids, we have to spell words so they can’t understand us. Our spelling lesson is the guessing game that follows. Sadly, they often discover our code words.
Vocabulary-Sometimes mom and dad try to use big words as part of our code-speak. Curly owns a dictionary. We are busted!
Grammar-Analyzing the structure of language. This comes in very handy during the “he said/she said” sessions when I try to catch them. Grammar helps you say what you mean and mean what you say. Slip ups often expose the true culprit at our house.
Reading Comprehension-I give them a list of the chores they are supposed to do. Then they do them and check them off. If they’re not done correctly I know we have a breakdown in our reading comprehension. Or possibly our obedience. Either way, it’s a good test.
Literary Analysis-We have little people who love to ask why. When I read a picture book to them, I am the victim of the why questions. Therefore, we analyze books.
Literature-This is me reading aloud during every meal. It keeps everyone quiet and seated at the table. So they eat and are enlightened at the same time. Everyone wins. Except me, when do I eat?
Narration-This is when I get to be the “why” person and ask them never-ending why questions after reading a book. I love this part!
Dictation-If I say it, you better take notes. Good life lessons for kids to learn.
Handwriting-Even if my children are doctors, I insist that their handwriting be legible. Dry erase boards and colored pens make this subject more exciting.
Copywork-I type out lovely poems and Scripture passages and Curly copies them. I get a short break and she improves her handwriting. This is also part of handwriting, but if you list them separately it sounds more impressive and mysterious.
Memory Work-And if you haven’t memorized those poems through the copy work assignments, I’ll help you by asking you to recite them to me.
Astronomy-We own a telescope. Enough said.
Anatomy-We get lots of boo-boos. To save money on bandaids, I’ve told the kids all about platelets and how they are our bodies’ own bandaids. They are way cooler too.
Entomology-You can’t go outside here without being attacked by some type of bug. Here we don’t use the names of seasons or months, but we know what time of year it is by which bug is attacking us. It’s love bug time! No, it’s June bug time! Ooops, now it’s May Fly season.
Botany-Go pull weeds, rake the leaves, and pick up the pinecones before Daddy mows. Simple!
Bible-I read it, we discuss it, we obey it.
Bible Memory Work-We also memorize it.
Violin-We play it.
Piano-And this too.
Art-Finger paint. Coloring your little sister in marker also counts.
Home Ec-This is when you help me bathe said little sis to get the marker off. This also means you take your dishes to the sink and clothes to the hamper. Chores are important!
Art Appreciation-I hang the finished product up on the wall. Not the sister of course, the art that actually made it on the paper.
Etymology-I once discussed what AM and PM meant. That’s Latin!
Logic-Trying to reason with a younger sibling gives us great practice in this area. We’ve learned that little people do not in fact possess any of this.
Analogies-Comparing 2 things. There are two pieces of cake on the table. They compare them to argue over the seemingly bigger piece.
Map Work-One book talked about Kansas. We found it on a map.
Geography-When we drive, the kids watch the rear view mirror for it to tell us which direction we are traveling. We’re learning geography! We can also find Kansas.
Critical Thinking-If mom said no to something already, how can I convince dad to say yes?
Ancient History-Thinking back to all the times your little sibling wronged you in the past month and then tattling to mom and dad. We don’t need to hear it!
Biblical History-Yes, this is technically part of Bible, but we’ll make it two categories.
Theology-When I answer all of the why questions that I am asked following our Bible time, that’s when we cover theology, or I simply tell them to ask God that one when they get to heaven.
So, it’s easy to make any day sound more than impressive. It’s all in the marketing. So, for those moms who flaunt it, don’t think that the rest of us homeschool moms aren’t on to you! We know exactly what you’re doing!